I got the term from Bill Simmons, of whose writing I am a big fan. Basically he uses the term to refer to those who follow and love pro sports without declaring allegiance to a specific team. I’m splitting hairs a little bit, but a more accurate term would probably be sports pluralist. The sports atheist would be the humourless Noam Chomsky sort who believe that pro sports are the new opiate of the peoples, as if we would solve world hunger and cure cancer if we got rid of the NBA. I agree with them to a point, what fun are they at a party? I’ll take some friendly NASCAR fans, thanks. The sports pluralist, however, stands back from the scene as a supposedly impartial observer. We delight in sport for the sake of sport and while we appreciate how insane fan-dom adds to the colour of our experience, we are unable to choose just one object of devotion.
For Simmons this is ridiculous idea. He was born and bred in Boston and lives and dies with the Boston area teams. The joy of pro sports is for him the emotional roller coaster ride being a fan can give. While this brings joy (the Red Sox coming back from a 3-0 deficit to the Yankees, The Celtics crushing the Lakers in game six) it also brings pain (the Patriots being upset by the Giants, Spygate). In his mind, without a team, you’re not truly a fan, you’re a watcher.
I became a sports pluralist honestly. I grew up in Charlottetown, far enough away that I didn’t have any clear geographic ties and the only sport my Dad really followed was NASCAR, or more accurately, what was then Winston Cup. Free agency helped, as there were no real ties for the players anymore, so why should I have those ties. Video games were part of it as well, as it made no sense to keep playing Madden with my favoured Bengals because they were terrible.
But the biggest issue I think is protection. I didn’t want to be a fan because what do I do when they lose? That sucks, and no one wants to be the bandwagon jumper. Who likes the guy who shows up on Tuesday wearing the SuperBowl winners hat? That guy is a jerk. After a while it was easier and seemed cooler and safer to maintain distance.
This is all in direct contrast to my faith life, where I am not a pluralist. I have pledged allegiance to a team and I believe that the only way to truly follow is to believe in our team exclusively and if our team “loses” (sports analogies fail) I will go down with the ship. I am all in to Jesus. As a person of faith I believe the religious pluralist to be in a sad position. While they aren’t subject to the discipline of following a faith path, they don’t really get to experience the joy, comfort, and connection that comes with choosing to follow the One.
There are times when I feel the pull of real sports fandom, but like faith, at some point it has to happen to you. I can’t wake up tomorrow and decide to be an Oilers fan, on some level the Oilers have to happen to me.
Come, Sam Gagner, Come
